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[10 Oct 2007|09:41am] |
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i'm happy that it's finally raining. i'm happy for jackets and umbrellas.
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[23 Sep 2007|07:00pm] |
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music |
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the sisters of mercy |
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My new house is sweet & basically it would seem that I was wrong about how this was a bad idea. Probably.
Recently I have been very into not being in school and keeping negative people out of my life. I think it is working out.
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| .125 |
[25 Jul 2007|05:04pm] |
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music |
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doves // darker |
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John White Alexander (1856-1915)
Isabella and the Pot of Basil, 1897
Oil on canvas
From Myths and Legends of Flowers, Trees, Fruits, and Plants by Charles M. Skinner, c. 1911 by J.B. Lippincott Company
"Isabella, whose story has been told by Boccaccio, Keats, and Hunt, in tale, poem, and picture, was a maid of Messina who, left to her own resources by her brothers--they being rich and absorbed in business--found solace in the company of Lorenzo, the comely manager of their enterprises. The brothers noted the meetings, but, wishing to avoid a scandal, they pretended to have seen nothing. Finally they bade Lorenzo to a festival outside of the city, and there slew him. They told their sister that Lorenzo had been sent on a long journey, but when days, weeks, even months, had passed, she could no longer restrain her uneasiness, and asked when he would return. "What do you mean?" demanded one of the brothers. "What have you in common with such as Lorenzo? Ask for him farther, and you shall be answered as you deserve."
Isabella kept her chamber for that day, a victim to fears and doubts; but in her solitude she called on her lover, making piteous moan that he would return. And he did so; for when she had fallen asleep, Lorenzo's ghost appeared, pale, blood-drabbled, with garments rent and mouldy, and addressed her: "Isabella, I can never return to you, for on the day we saw each other last your brothers slew me."
After telling where she might find his body, the speaker melted into air, and in fright she awoke. Unable to shake off the impression of the scene, she fled to the scene of the tragedy, and there, in a space of ground recently disturbed, she came upon Lorenzo, lying as in sleep, for there was a preserving virtue in the soil. She was first for moving the corpse to holy ground, but this would invite discovery, so with a knife she removed the head, and, borrowing "a great and goodly pot," laid it therein, folded in a fair linen cloth, and covered it with earth. Some basil of Salerno she then planted, and it was her comfort to guard the growing plant sprung from her lover's flesh, and water it with essences and orange water, but oftener with tears.
Tended so with love and care, the plant grew strong and filled the room with sweetness. Her home-staying and the pallor of weeping led the brothers to wonder, and, thinking to cure her of a mental malady, they took away the flower. She cried unceasingly for its return, and the men, still marveling, spilt it from its tub to find if she had hidden anything beneath its root; and in truth she had, for there they found the mouldering head which, by its fair and curling hair, they recognized as Lorenzo's. Realizing that the murder had been discovered, they buried the relic anew, and fled to Naples. Isabella died of heart-emptiness, still lamenting her pot of basil."
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| .124 |
[18 Jul 2007|02:05pm] |
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music |
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the cure // charlotte sometimes |
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Buffalo '66 might be my new favorite movie.
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[15 Jul 2007|07:13pm] |
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I need another good book. I wish a Hemingway novel would last me longer than fortyeight hours.
&I need a storm.
...among other things.
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| .122 |
[22 Jun 2007|10:01am] |
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music |
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cocorosie // candyland |
] |
...been listeing to cocorosie on repeat.
...been sewing, crocheting, planning, scheming.
...dreamed of kevin kinsey, kendra, haunted industrial buildings, art, space.
...woke up with an overwhelming desire to go to maine for a while, to be around the quiet and the fields and the trees and so much more sky. thought about festival & howmuch i used to love it as a child. briefly entertained the notion of switching around my schedule to go home for it, but.
...god, i'm really so fucking broke. but i'm going out tonight anyway. because it's summer.
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| .121 |
[13 Jun 2007|01:59pm] |
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music |
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blondie // rapture |
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Last week I fell in LOVE with:
Miranda July.
Joy Division's Substance.
some other stuff, I forget.
I'm almost ready to forget MassArt.
I'm almost ready to do something again.
Christ.
I'm also almost ready to make a decision about MOVING. As in, it's entirely possible that I will not. Honestly, I like my job, and it's a becoming a big reason not to go anywhere yet. (Is it ridiculous to care so much about a retail job? I feel a little ridiculous.) PLUS, I'm BROKE. That is another reason. I don't see my financial situation improving enough to afford to go anywhere, especially New York. I want to go to New York. I didn't think that I would ever be the kind of person who wants to go to New York, but here I am, wanting to go to New York. Alas, one does not move to New York BROKE. Nothing is definate, and it's driving me crazy. I want a PLAN. I want to make a decision, and soon. But to be fair, I have to wait until Nate's show is over because he needs some time to think, too, and this is what happens when you're in a relationship, you have to make decisions together, and it is usually frustrating and annoying and difficult. Trying to decide what we both want for dinner is hard enough; trying to make a decision about where to fucking live and how to get there and if we can afford it is 654651365465161 times harder, 654651365465161 more impossible.
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| .1564891651684635 |
[24 May 2007|01:14pm] |
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music |
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bauhaus // in the flat field |
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My shoulders and arms and palms are sore thanks to riesling-fueled over-enthusiasm for the zipline at the Tainted Lands last night. Which is just dumb.
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| .118 / today's acquisitions |
[01 May 2007|08:52pm] |
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music |
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the cure // the love cats |
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. Glenn Miller on vinyl
. Hemingway's A Farewell To Arms
. the knowledge that I've finally tied up all of my loose ends and am now officially eligible for commencement. My name is on the list and everything. (Huge sigh of relief, because, to be honest, I was beginning to get a bit nervous that I would fuck everything up.)
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| .117 |
[10 Apr 2007|05:39pm] |
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music |
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nick cave & the bad seeds // loverman |
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I got free tickets from WMBR to see "All Through The Night" at the Brattle this evening. This is a Humphrey Bogart movie that I have been dying to see, and I had only been able to find it as part of a Bogart box set that I can't afford. It's a World War II propaganda film in which Bogart fights Nazis who are trying to blow up Manhattan. I mean, come on. I don't even care that I am probably going alone. It will totally be worth it.
Also this is the only thing I have ever "won" from a radio station. That in itself is pretty damn exciting, (in an incredibly dorky way, I'll admit.)
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| .116 |
[04 Apr 2007|02:29pm] |
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music |
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something dumb on the dumb radio |
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I have so much to do and am greatly anticipating life after graduation.
I want to be a real person again; being in school for years&years&years&years&years&years in a row has made me feel like I've lost something of myself.
Or maybe it has nothing to do with school and everything to do with me.
It is so hard to know sometimes.
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| .115 |
[31 Mar 2007|11:56am] |
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Things I hate include: recently discovered and rapidly growing holes in the crotch of my favourite jeans.
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| .114 |
[23 Mar 2007|07:42pm] |
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Boston is so dirty today, despite the sunshine, and it makes me miss northern Maine in the summertime...I want to take Nate there again, I want to spend a week with him in the sun and the woods where I grew up; I want to show him the stars as I spent my childhood and adolescence seeing them, lying at night beside the fire pit, the sound of the frogs coming from the brook down the road...I want him to meet my grandmother, and have her tell him stories of my grandfather, someone that he will never get a chance to meet (it torments me that this is so,)...I want to watch a late-afternoon storm with him from the front porch, watch it move in across the fields to obscure the sun and shake the maples in the front yard...I want to drive country roads at night, roads that I know so well, with the windows down and something playing loudly on the stereo...
I want to show him all the reasons that I truly love northern Maine
and also the reasons that I hate it;
the reasons that it is an indelible part of me
and also the reasons that I will never be able to return permanently to it.
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| .112 |
[22 Mar 2007|01:09pm] |
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music |
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nick cave & the bad seeds // do you love me (part 2) |
] |
I listened to this earlier today while eating breakfast. On Point is always incredible, but this particular episode about reading and writing had me completely enthralled. This is why Tom Ashbrook is kindof my hero.
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| .111 |
[21 Mar 2007|01:46pm] |
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music |
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carla thomas // pick up the pieces |
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bruise these lips.
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| .110 |
[20 Mar 2007|12:11pm] |
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music |
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the sisters of mercy // driven like the snow |
] |
She is a palpable presence.
I see so much of myself in her -- I don't want to. I resent the thought that she could be like me, or me like her.
She is always in my mind.
Our red lips match.
I want something from her. I don't yet know what that could be.
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| .107 |
[12 Mar 2007|06:07pm] |
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music |
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the birthday party // nick the stripper |
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i wish nick cave was still 25 and it was the eighties and we could make out.
okay okay.
okay okay.
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| .106 |
[11 Mar 2007|06:42pm] |
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music |
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billy bragg // the milkman of human kindness |
] |
Everything is all domesticity and television.
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[16 Feb 2007|09:48pm] |
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I WANT A PIANO.
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